Wallflowers


I’m sitting alone in a house that is a provably “active” location. Just thinking. Of course, to alleviate the trepidation of others who “know the place,” there’s no reason to be afraid – I’ve truly never felt a moment’s discomfort. Well, that fear cage in the basement doesn’t count – you can’t expect 148 Gauss to have no effect whatsoever, right? Believe me, “the house is clean” but I recommend visitors stay upstairs and let someone else go down there for cans of soup and paper towels.

I’m the only one who ever saw an apparition here, and both of those were extremely quick and easily explainable as a trick of the mind. That is, in fact, how I do explain them, and I’m the paranormal investigator here, so lighten up! I guess it must be the idea that I’ve recorded over a thousand EVP in the house. Well, I suppose I see your point, but look on the bright side – no one has ever heard an actual disembodied voice here. If I had never mentioned those silly ole EVP, would you still be looking around every corner? Would you still be telling your friends that Granny’s house is haunted? Would there still be a need to travel the halls in packs of two or more?

No one has ever experienced a single out-of-the-ordinary thing here. My EVP represent the entirety of it, and even those would have remained hidden if I had just kept my mouth shut. It’s an open floor plan with tons of windows, and there’s a light switch at every corner. Not a single stick of creepy furniture or pre-World War I photos; no strange artifacts from dead people no one ever met… Like I’ve always said, “it’s the least haunted place I know.” Get a grip for God’s sake!

It just goes to show that spiritual activity doesn’t have to come in a stereotypical box – those prejudices originate with us. The large number of spirit voices at this location don’t reflect pain, suffering, malice or even mild discontent – they just sound like extra people. Slight participants. Wallflowers. An active location can often be the most difficult to recognize simply because the ethereal residents prefer it that way, but I would take it a step further. Spiritual activity is normal. It’s as much a fact of life as any other thing is, so get used to it. We accept religion, intuition, feelings, and even ESP, so why is simple spiritual presence such a problem? Grow up, I say, because it’s as natural as anything else in life. It’s a requirement, and it’s everywhere.

Sometimes I imagine those spirits all just sitting there – bored to the gills, looking at one another, waiting patiently for visitors they can ogle. I wonder if they’ve figured out why everyone acts so strange around the place? Even I keep wondering why you peek into rooms before you open the door. You must amuse them so, but at the rate they talk on my recorder, I must be the real attraction. I must remind them of the young man who once asked them to dance; who made that long walk to the other side of the ballroom where the wallflowers sit; who reached out a hand and requested they trip the light fantastic once again.

Well, why not? I’m game. I never was much of a dancer, but I guess if you’re a wallflower, it’s not about who brought you as much as who bothers to actually make that long walk and extend that hand. Party on, old friends! Let the kiddies miss all the fun. Now, “tell me something about yourself.”

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