“Help me, I’m sick!”

EVP can be an emotional experience sometimes. It’s not much different from welling up during a sappy movie – it’s hard to control your response. You couldn’t rescue the boy in the well; the love-of-your-life didn’t just selflessly die while nursing contagious patients in the Congo.  And that spirit voice didn’t break your heart – you didn’t condemn him to a life of “whatever.” But there it is – that incontrollable burst of emotion – the EVP voice said “Help me, I’m sick.”

Oh no he didn’t! “Help me, I’m sick.” Are you kidding me? And now, I’m supposed to retain objectivity? I have to figure out a way to get dispassionate once again, don’t I? I mean, what good am I as an EVP researcher if I get all involved? It could be a ploy to suck me in to an evil, nefarious plan. This could threaten my immortal soul for God’s sake! Doesn’t anyone understand the consequences? Am I all alone?

Well, it’s Memorial Day weekend, I know that mainly for two reasons, the least important of which is because my birthday is on Monday –   another year closer to inevitable doom. Let’s forget the hats and horns; forego the gifts and cards – we’ll go out for dinner and pretend there’s some other reason to celebrate.

The second reason I know it’s Memorial Day, is that my phone is blowing up with emails touting holiday sales events. And who wouldn’t want to spend their Memorial Day at Costco or Bedding Barn, right? Walmart has a sale on flips flops! One word – Q-Tips! We should rush to Home Depot and get that bag of topsoil we talked about two years ago. Or a new hammer. That garden hose with all the holes might be nice. If we’re still on our feet, we can trek on over to Target and stock up on inexpensive watches – one for every occasion, and a huge bag of fun-sized Snickers.

Maybe we can go to a barbecue at the neighbor’s house. Surely they’ve forgotten about last year. Perhaps my kids will call or we’ll visit my mother – haven’t seen her in weeks. A few years ago, I would have been going over to visit both parents. When Dad was still alive, we would have all those “manly” conversations I couldn’t have at home while surrounded by five daughters and other assorted varieties of femininity. I miss those conversations – sports, yard-work, woodworking… Neither of us knew a thing about woodworking, but it can make for a lively conversation. Honest!

But who am I kidding? It didn’t matter what we talked about – we could have discussed the trends in women’s shoes – that would have been fine. It was my dad, ya know? And he’s been gone too long. And I miss him.

Sometimes I still talk to him. I talk out loud when no one is around, and I’ll admit it, because it’s good for the soul. I recommend it. Call it a kind of pedestrian therapy for someone who can’t afford the real thing. Dimestore psychiatry, and even though my dad was a busy guy, these days, he listens to every word. Yeah, I miss him. But when I talk to him now, we talk about everything, and I’m not ashamed of those emotions either. I rant and rave and go off at the mouth like a crazy person; I bawl like a baby, and I talk about every little thing that bottles up inside and needs to get out.

He and I have discussed gut wrenching stuff – stuff that’s a little difficult to say out loud, but he listens. He’s been gone all these years, and still he listens. He never criticizes or chastises me for all those bad decisions. He doesn’t correct me when I misspeak, or suggest alternate ways of seeing the world, but somehow, (and I have no idea how he does this) he gets his message across. I owe him big time, ya know?

The last time I recorded for EVP on my birthday, I recorded a voice that only said two words – “I’m happy.” I suppose it could have been some sort of birthday greeting. I don’t know, maybe the obvious – a description of how that spirit felt. I have no more an idea of what it actually meant than I do about who said it. But it made me feel really good. You can understand that, right?

I haven’t thought about that for a few years, but now I’m wondering why it’s okay for me to pour my heart out to the spirit of my father, but I can’t return the favor. I have to be detached; I’m not supposed to ever get involved; must remain professional and take nothing to heart. But why? Why shouldn’t I give what I get? Don’t the spirits tolerate me? Aren’t they still speaking on my recorder even after observing all those rants and raves? Just because they’re supposedly dead, am I not supposed to care about them?

I don’t like that attitude. I can’t do anything to ease their pain, and I can’t add to their joy. All I can do is be there and listen – maybe a little tit for tat, no? And give them honesty, no matter what that is. I may not be able to “help” them when they’re “sick,” but I know what it’s like to be sick. I can understand, and sometimes – that’s a lot.

Happy Memorial Day, dad! How about them Ravens?

Real Paranormal Experience

I would guess that most people don’t have a single clue about what a real paranormal experience is about. Things happen all around us that quite possibly have their origin in the unknown, but we rarely notice. Mediums tell us to keep our eyes open and observe everything, but we never really do, even though “we’re the most observant person we know.” We seem to be pre-conditioned for dealing with the absurd, not the real. That, of course, can be traced to Hollywood, where even quality films about actual paranormal events don’t get anywhere near reality. I don’t fault them for that – their purpose is not to educate us, or to offer honest representations – their purpose is to entertain, and hopefully to make money.

Still, Hollywood points the way. We are convinced that we’re prepared for those fantastic, yet pseudo-evil entities of fiction. Or so we think, but the truth is, if a ten-foot, swirling blue mass of smoke and evil, red-eyed devil ever set foot in our dining room, we’d probably soil our armor and run head first into a wall. Luckily, the real thing doesn’t have that kind of a dramatic presence behind it.

Most real paranormal experiences emerge from boredom – utter and complete monotony, followed by the reliving of it all yet again through video and audio analysis. Nothing better than watching grass grow unless it’s reviewing the video – all in real time, of course. A real paranormal experience often goes unnoticed due to the limitations of our senses. We just don’t see or hear them very well unless we’re looking, and even then, much of the unknown isn’t sensory. So it’s usually during that boring analysis phase that we’re able to finally notice. An EVP, something in the UV area of full spectrum; an unnatural static appearing on camera #3 upstairs…

I’m always taken aback when someone hears a particularly convincing EVP and seems a little disappointed. Maybe it doesn’t sink in that the voice they’re hearing is actually emanating from a genuine spirit; is actually somehow spoken and delivered by a supposed non-living entity. But there it is – loud as a ringtone in church – breaking through the silence of a comfortable life, ready to change you – right before your very consciousness. There is an eternity between heartbeats sometimes – long enough to change the way you feel about coincidence and Hollywood bologna; long enough to accept reality – even if it comes from the voice of an anonymous, forgotten soul.

One thing is certain – a real paranormal experience is unique. It lacks the pomp and circumstance of other life-altering events; doesn’t come with a manual or instructions – you have no idea what to do with it or how to handle it. There’s no blowing of the horn right before you’re hit; no unspectacular pop before the bullet tears your flesh; no whoosh of water and wind as the ceiling falls down around you. A real paranormal experience comes quietly – usually without any fanfare or advance warning at all; usually without apparent purpose, or sense of reason. But for those brief seconds after, nothing looks the same or feels even remotely familiar. Everything you see is slightly different; every sound is heightened and suddenly significant; reaction to your environment is through the eyes of a stranger.

It passes quickly, but a real paranormal experience alters you forever as it slowly meanders through your consciousness and reminds you of your mortality. It’s not so bad to discover that life is not the completely comfortable place you always thought it would be, because suddenly it is bigger. And it’s not without advantage to know you are privy to a massive universal secret – such is the benefit for being at the right place, right time. By some stroke of incredible, magnificent luck, you have been shown the answer to a question as old as perpetuity.

And there’s no real fear involved – not usually. There are no perceivable moments of peril, no creatures devoted to your destruction, no evil oozing from the sheetrock or spiritual pestilence eating away at the foundation… No destruction of your soul; not even the slightest diminishment of essence. You are who you always were, but now you are salient; now you understand what you never considered worthy before.

Never again do you look indiscriminately at your surroundings expecting big things to happen. You look for subtle clues instead, listen for whispered voices, and eventually, you open up to who you are.  Somehow, you begin to realize that within you, the strength to comprehend the impossible has become inevitable, because a real paranormal experience is just a normal pillar of life. It is, however, a matter for the soul. Whatever that is.

Linger Long

I think there comes a time when you have to use this kind of a venue to get things off your chest. That’s what I do, and if I’ve got it all wrong, then I guess I owe some apologies. But sometimes, you just have to say things out loud – in front of others, so it counts for something. This time, it’s all good stuff, so no need to click the back button just yet.

I’ve been blessed to work with some really good investigators. As some of you may know, I am a member of Perry Hall Paranormal Research Society – PHPRS. We are hardly the biggest, baddest team of paranormal ass-kickers in the business, but we are good. I’ve seen more than a few investigators I would gladly beat with a stick, but frankly, I wouldn’t trade a single team member of mine for even the best of those I’ve seen. We’re calm, methodical, proficient, reliable, and while no one is ever perfect, I would trust my life with these guys in a heartbeat. We work with a couple of other individuals from time to time who fit right in with the program, so it’s always a win/win situation for me.

That’s pretty stereotypical stuff to say, I suppose – there are probably a lot of investigators out there who would say the same thing about their own experiences. But PHPRS seems unique to me, and I count my blessings whenever we have the chance to work together. It’s not just because I like these people, but because I can count on them – from beginning to end. It doesn’t matter whether we’re setting up equipment or analyzing evidence, there is a professional attitude that surrounds every part of the journey.

This past Friday, I was fortunate enough to attend a meeting of Inspired Ghost Tracking in Jessup, Maryland. Rosemary Ellen Guiley was the guest speaker. Not too shabby, eh? IGT always seems to have interesting guests, and I am excluding myself from that list (I’ve spoken there twice). I’m not able to attend as frequently as I would like, but I know the itinerary is first rate, and Rosemary Ellen Guiley did not disappoint.

The lecture was focused on the Djinn. Typically, Rosemary was easy to understand, informative, controversial, and perhaps most importantly, she was able to help us relate everything to our experiences in the field. I knew a little something about the Djinn before I arrived, but it turns out most of it was wrong. Ms. Guiley set the record straight and I was able to apply her teachings almost immediately to my own experiences. I was even compelled to re-analyze some of my previous evidence with the Djinn in mind. It isn’t usual for a speaker to touch you where you live that succinctly, but then it is Rosemary Ellen Guiley we’re talking about, so I knew it would be a great experience going in. Suffice it to say, it was memorable.

Speaking of memorable. Margaret Ehrlich Perry is the head honcho at IGT, and Margaret doesn’t do anything half-way. Besides boasting an extremely robust speaking agenda, there are group investigations and outings scheduled constantly, including a great many nationally known locations. There is a steady flow of different ideas constantly under discussion within the group, which is always a healthy way to approach the paranormal. And if knowledge is as important as experience, Inspired Ghost Tracking has it all.  I recommend IGT – it just may be one of the best paranormal meet-up groups anywhere in the country, which makes those of us who live nearby, the lucky recipients.

I’m sure I didn’t do any of these subjects much justice. Certainly the people involved deserve better, but sometimes it’s not as easy to say nice things as adequately as we want. Regardless, I consider my life to have been enriched by the people I’ve met in the paranormal field. My team members and the folks at IGT top the list for me. Unfortunately, there are always fools in the field – we’ve all met them, and fortunately, they will quickly fade from memory. But the good folks will always linger long.

PHPRS can be found online at www.phprs.org. Inspired Ghost Tracking at www.inspiredghosttracking.com, and Rosemary Ellen Guiley’s website is www.visionaryliving.com/. Check out their sites. In one way or another, they each represent the best of us.

This Is Not Paranormal

This video is not paranormal (below). As you can see, it’s a one minute ad I put together to draw attention to my second book, There Is No Silence. And yet, every time I look at it, I am amazed at how the shadow on the right seems to emerge from practically nowhere. It doesn’t appear paranormal at first glance, but it always fools me into looking just one more time. Yesterday I looked at it again before uploading it to God knows where, and I swear I saw a face in the middle of the shadow – a face that isn’t there, of course.

I think that if I wasn’t trained properly; if I wasn’t taught the need to be positive before I open my mouth, I might have considered this clip to be worthy of serious consideration as some kind of evidence. Maybe it’s just me. Maybe it’s not half as interesting as I think it is, but frankly, I’ve seen video clips out there a whole lot less convincing; passing as paranormal proof.

I can’t imagine why someone would want to be associated with such obviously inaccurate claims. I suppose there’s a kind of notoriety that accompanies such things, so the temptation to look the other way is too great to pass up. I guess there is a need in some people to be recognized as a successful ghost hunter. Whatever!

But since there is so little provable video evidence of spirits available, we probably tend to lose our objectivity and don’t properly analyze this stuff. Some of us must get so excited that we lose all sight of reality, and therefore, lose sight of the truth. Maybe an even smaller number among the ranks does it on purpose for some kind of gain – hard to understand. I hate the thought of that, but I think it’s a definite possibility.

I can’t over-value the training I received, or absorbed, or had forced upon me. I can’t tell you how many fascinating pieces of video I possess that are no more paranormal than my old sneakers. So yeah – thank God for that training. I can just imagine how quickly the sharks would descend; how ravenously they’d feed. Some individuals may be easily and often fooled into thinking bad evidence is good. I guess it’s the same thing that causes us to wear plaids and stripes together, or mix scotch and bourbon in the same glass. Not all of us are discerning enough to tell the difference; some of us would see the shadows in my video and believe with all their heart that it’s real. But for every one of them, there are ten others out there who know better. Not just the skeptics who won’t believe in anything, but well-versed investigators who know how to determine such things. These people can spot video garbage before you can say, “This is bull#&$@.”

I may not be the best at analysis – I can accept that, but I have thanked my lucky stars on many occasions. I’m so grateful that I was raised in the field to look for reasons why something is not paranormal, as opposed to why it is. I’d break out in cold sweats in the middle of the night if I thought I offered something bogus as evidence. It’s just inconceivable to me that my name could be associated with that kind of garbage.

We all want to believe, so discerning the difference between this kind of truth and illusion is not something one is born possessing. It’s something you learn; not by looking at video clips on television, but by pouring over hours and hours of video you shot yourself, and being able to eagerly say, “this is not paranormal.

Just Drink the Kool-Aid

Frequently I am struck by the insistence of paranormal investigators to stand immovably firm on certain so-called singular truths. Many of us seem to need a black and white world, where concepts emerge without question, and old wives’ tales linger. And one must be very careful when criticizing these paranormal certainties.

One of those chiseled in stone ideas is the notion that EVP and EMF go hand in hand – you can’t have an EVP without some kind of spike in the electro-magnetic force. End of discussion; don’t be a heretic. But I’m not convinced. This particular pseudo-scientific “question mark” has been a pet peeve of mine, even though it has long ago achieved sacred cow status.

I’m reticent about this because I have actually done some experiments and my results indicate there is no reason to make this assumption. EMF and EVP don’t seem to have much relation to one another. The recorder I used was built into a video camera which was aimed at the meter’s dial. I won’t go into any more details, but I almost never received a consistent spike one way or the other at the same time an EVP was captured. As part of my experiments, I also asked the spirit present to force the reading to change noticeably without speaking, and in a much larger percent of the time, the gauges rose at my request.

My conclusion? EMF need not be manipulated for EVP to be recorded. While spirits seem to be able to alter the electro-magnetic force, it appears they do not have to. Still, it’s difficult to draw conclusions either way, but it certainly convinces me that this is one sacred cow which is just as likely to be incorrect as it is to be correct.

I have similar feelings about the temperature dropping due to spirits zapping the energy in the air. I can’t deny it, but absorbing energy from the air, while probably possible, doesn’t make a lot of sense. Why not do it all the time if it’s such an easy way to manifest? Why do we assume the spirit world isn’t just fine the way it is? I thought spirits were energy… And don’t even get me started on battery drain. I’ve had plenty of batteries drain while “on the job” but I’ve also had plenty of batteries drain everywhere else. My kitchen clock, various remote controls, and my daughter’s RC truck all have frequent battles with batteries. Seems like a battery issue – not a spiritual one.

The insistence of paranormal people that these notions be considered undisputable truths based on such thin evidence, confounds me. And yet, I still schlep out my EMF meter on investigations, even though I believe it’s a waste of time, and a serious distraction. My research indicates that the spirit world interacts when it wants to – usually without fanfare, warning, or measurable criteria.  But there is no more proof for my conjecture than there is for the opposite. Let’s face it – when all we have are unsubstantiated and immeasurable anecdotal evidence, we don’t have evidence at all. Watching an EMF meter spike can never be equivocated with spirits. Just because your batteries went too quickly, doesn’t mean some specter is trying to manifest. Has anyone ever seen something manifest right after the Double A batteries in your camera fail? And it’s not that I’m denying these things are possible, but they all assume that spirits need more than what is natural for them, and that they take it from us. I don’t get it!

Spirit presence has always been elusive, and I don’t believe there is a fool-proof method for detection as of now – other than human observation and attention to the environment surrounding us. Spirits communicate with us when they want to, regardless of anything we do, and they show up without a calling card. But this is blasphemy to many. In some eyes, by denying that spirit manipulation of the EM force is necessary, I am a fool. And that taints my evidence, pollutes my conclusions, and removes me from the ranks of serious paranormal researchers. Well, it is what it is, isn’t it? Maybe I should just give in and drink the Kool-Aid – who’s it gonna hurt?

I don’t deny there will be breakthroughs along the way – significant new directions to take – in pursuit of the elusive spirit world. Some will prove fruitful – most will not. Personally, I think we need to let go of those that do not. I think it’s time to worry less about defending the EMF or temperature rules, and become more concerned with quantum mechanics, Resonance Theory, or even good old-fashioned psychology. Of course, that’s just me, so I doubt any of that will change, especially when there are so many really cool paranormal devices for sale which center around those questionable concepts.

Black and White and Blurry

All things in life are cyclical, including my attitude, and lately, my attitude stinks! I realize it’s related to my incarceration by the medical profession, but I’ve been on a rampage of sorts – about incorrect use of science, bad investigation technique, mediums… There must be other topics I’ve unceremoniously trashed, but it was unavoidable, I assure you. I just needed to get those things out – like some kind of mental colonic I needed to endure before resuming wonderful human being status. Well, I meant every unpleasant word, but now that this is passing and my mind is all better, I feel guilty for adding to the world’s cumulative negativity.

So I have plans to reverse my unconstructive verbal swill into something a little less sanguine; something more edifying and mutually beneficial. So keep your eyes open for that. You don’t wanna miss that! Ah… such imagery.

Anyway, before I embark upon this journey into better narrative; before I return to a place where all is well and everyone gets pie; where the good never die young and the spirits flow freely, there’s just one more thing I am compelled to purge from my captive, soggy mind. It’s a subject I swore I would never touch – paranormal television shows. Seat belts buckled? The old man is about to commit some kind of personal carnage – this should be entertaining if nothing else.

But relax – it won’t be that bad. Not interested in he said “this” and she doesn’t get paid enough, or so-and-so doesn’t like being paired up with what’s-his-face. There’s no need to resurrect “run dude run” again (ooops), but tell me this – what in the world was Vince Neal and the Girls doing on Ghost Adventures?

I’m actually a fan of Zak, Nick, and Aaron. I think they’re too abrasive sometimes – too confrontational for me, but I believe their evidence is genuine, and I believe they care about authenticity. There’s great passion there for the work. Of course, all of that is arguable, but my immediate problem has nothing to do with their investigative credibility. What was that on my television screen last Friday, all black and white and blurry?

“Vince is really into this stuff,” I think I heard Zak say. I understand – these days, who isn’t? Is that all it takes to do a guest spot on GA? Well, okay, but was the entire cackling entourage really necessary? Could any EVP from that investigation withstand even the weakest of scrutiny? Who were those people and how much did they pay Travel Channel to make all that tv magic take place?

I have a lot of questions, because I can’t believe I saw it happen. Where was the usual minimal decorum? The respect for the dead? A sense of dignity? Common sense? Was there any attention paid to investigation protocol? Why not just do an investigation during an NFL game or in the midst of stuffing as many people as you can into a phone booth? (Remember phone booths?) At one point, it appeared as though Mr. Neal might be suffering a heart attack. Really? I actually expected someone to yank him out of there and have him checked out or something. Possibly driven away in an ambulance or at the very least, removed from the situation and observed. You better believe if you were on an investigation with me there’s no way those symptoms would be chalked up to spiritual transference or ignored in any way. Of course, maybe it was just for show. Hmmm…

I don’t know about you, but I watch these shows for three reasons. First, I watch because I find them entertaining. Second, because you never know what you could possibly learn from them. And lastly, out of support. The field needs public attention and these shows provide it. These shows are important. But this was a spectacle! What could they do to top it this week, I wonder? Flo from Progressive?  The gecko? Trump?

Suffice it to say that I enjoy ogling an attractive woman the same as most men do. But I don’t watch Ghost Adventures to see one snuggle up on Frank Sinatra’s bed with an aging rock star asking stupid questions of the deceased. Oh! I almost forgot about the former beauty queen turned tacky groupie trying to share her ghostly experience in a small room with no less than the chorus line from the Tropicana. Okay, I’m exaggerating, but if you saw the episode, you know just how much of a zoo it really was.

Of course, I’m sure Zak could care less what anyone thought of the display – he doesn’t even know I exist anyway. I’m also certain that he marches to the beat of a different drummer. That’s just how he rolls, ya know. But Vince Neal? Too bad it wasn’t Tommy Lee. At least he has some screen experience – all black and white and blurry.

Sufficiently Dazzled

I guess there’s no other way to say it, other than to just blurt it out – I have trouble believing in mediums. Sensitives, clairvoyants, fortune-tellers, psychics, soothsayers, oracles, seers… Whatever you want to call them, I wrestle with the whole authenticity issue. I believe there are such people, but not many. In the paranormal, we must be lucky, because there appear to be a lot of them. Right off the bat, I can think of 17 people I know by name who contend to be sensitive in one way or another. And each one of them comes equipped with a testimonial-wielding sidekick ready to assure me that in a sea of charlatans, this one is “the real thing.”

“Okay. Cool. So tell me what you see?” I usually ask that right away. Why dance around the issue, right – whaddya got? Well, apparently, I don’t travel alone, because everyone sees one or more spirits attached to me. An Indian, a wolf, an old lady, a man dressed in a dark suit – only a few of the many stereotypical invisibles in my entourage. From the ridiculous to the sublime, I was once informed that a clown was following me throughout the room. Another time, that I carried somewhere between 13 and 23 spirits in tow. Well, I was feeling sluggish that day, so that might have been accurate, but she told me they were always with me and that some of them weren’t very nice. I later mentioned this to another medium, who paused for a few seconds before suggesting that I must have misplaced a few – she only saw four. I was sufficiently dazzled.

Surely you can see why I have difficulty believing. It’s not that I think they’re fakes; I don’t think they’re all delusional. I’m convinced that they believe whatever it is they’re saying. It’s just that I do not. On an investigation, a “sensitive” and I were alone in the master bedroom, when all of a sudden, he shushed me. Little did I know, there was an exotic animal under the bed. I forget what it was, but it was definitely a dark spirit that had control of the room and our presence was arousing his anger. We needed to leave. Well, I got up without dissent and walked out behind him. I was speechless. I went back in later, of course – with someone else, but I think the creature was probably gone.

The point is, I don’t like to have these people along on investigations. I’m sure that a real medium would be different. I’m sure there are situations where those particular skills come in handy, but I don’t like a lot of nonsense when I’m investigating – it gets in the way. It’s not as if this stuff ruins the feng shui of the environment, or messes with my chi, but it’s really difficult for me to focus on why I’m there when the person next to me appears to be in the middle of some kind of episode. “Someone is with us.” Oh well, case closed, I guess.

But what really bugs me the most is when they try to infect me with the same “disease.” Everyone assumes that since I record a lot of EVP, I must be sensitive too – just like they are, but with my own unique set of gifts. “We all have gifts, you know.”

Not me. I’m not being resistant. I’m not afraid of having gifts. I think it would be pretty cool. I’d be thrilled just to exchange a polite greeting each morning to however many spirits are hanging around at the time. But “you just haven’t developed your skills. You should work on it,” they say. “I think you might be very powerful.”

Well, I am polite. I smile and feign interest; give that look I use when I’m pretending to be fascinated. I assure them that I’ll think about it, and that usually makes them happy, but they’ve lost me, because I know I am not sensitive. A person knows such things.

I realize there are all kinds of studies being done on the subject, and I am always amazed when I read about them. I feel guilty for so many years of doubt. Maybe all these people are the real thing. Maybe if I wouldn’t be such a skeptic, I could see the true value of their skills – I’ve probably been harsh and unjust. Maybe so, but as sure as there are rats on the moon, and Rice Crispies in the bowl, I am not one of them.

Well not in this universe, at least. I mean, nine-hundred universes to the left I’m like the biggest psychic there is. And I’m not overweight there either, and I’ve aged much better. But here? I’m just me. No bells or whistles, no visions, mental images, or intuitive feelings. But if you’re one of those sensitives, and my guess is, there’s a good chance you are – don’t tell me. Let me see if I can figure it out on my own.

One Small Favor

I’ve been going crazy lately – cooped up in the house and basically useless – recuperating from surgery. I can’t lift more than 5 pounds, bend over, cough or sneeze too much (I have no idea how to stop doing that, so don’t tell anyone), and I’m not supposed to spend the whole day in front of the computer or tv. Yeah, right.

But just think how “good it will be when this is all over.” Horse feathers, I’m going crazy now – I can’t wait that long. I haven’t been on an investigation for quite awhile, haven’t visited my mother, driven a car, mowed my wilderness of a yard, lifted a grandchild in the air, or any number of those normal things I no longer want to take for granted. How I yearn to do laundry. What kind of bloody, feckless life is this anyway?

So what if my attitude stinks. Of course, all of this will pass. The transplant seems to be succeeding, so my vision will improve, and by this time next month my activities should be back to normal. I’m pretty sure my professional baseball career is finished, and I think the President has already found a new personal trainer, but life will be good. I can just see myself on a romp through the meadow, smelling the wild flowers and spinning endlessly until I collapse in the tall grass and lose myself in the billowing clouds overhead. Ah, if only there was a meadow nearby, that would surely be the case.

But alas, I am stuck with Google for entertainment. (Not highly recommended, by the way.) So, I felt the need to look up an old friend – someone I hadn’t seen in over ten years. He was actually an old employer, and he probably qualifies as being both the best boss ever, and the worst. It was just the two of us. I did all the work, and he visited the pub. Or slept in. And the truth is, he bounced about a third of my paychecks over a three-year period. But this guy was also a real gem of a person. He was funny, intelligent, understanding – any desirable personality trait you can think of definitely applied to Peter. He was a prince among men, and that’s probably why I kept coming in each day and believing his promises that the check would be good.

We were a computer graphics firm, and we did multimedia, web, and general design. Well, I did those things – Peter was a salesman, and when there was no work, I learned things. In a way, I went to university at that desk, and I got a better education than Penn State ever provided. Peter made that possible.

After he closed the doors on the business, we stayed in touch for a year – maybe two, and while we never had too much to say, I think there was a friendship there. Not the kind you read about or watch in films, and it wasn’t based on deep communication or the knowing of one another well. Fact is, I never knew what Peter was going do – he was unpredictable and often unapproachable, but he was a very worthy individual, and I appreciated him greatly.

As I said, a significant amount of time has passed since we last spoke, so I decided to Google him, since that’s the extent of my outreach. But damn – he died. In November. Which isn’t that long ago to someone of my age. November turns into December in a heartbeat and in just a dozen more, it’s November again. It’s only been five months since he passed away. Good grief, he was just 4 years older than me. How many heartbeats is that…

Well, life goes on; gotta pick up the pieces; he’s in a better place; wonder if he still had that Saab… Peter is gone, and I miss him. But last night, I remembered an EVP I recorded recently. I think it said “Peter.” I needed to hear that, and of course, I needed to check the date.

And yes. It just might have been Peter. The voice said his name very clearly, and it happened in late November. I’m never sure what to make of things like this, because I don’t like to assign actual people to EVP voices unless I’m completely certain. This is too thin for “certain.” But still… I don’t have to come clean to the world, do I? I can give myself this one, small favor, can’t I?

I don’t recall hearing that voice since. It’s not always easy to tell, of course. Sometimes, spirits sound the same – you have to search for inflection or pitch; you have to guess sometimes. And as much as I would love to talk to Peter one more time, my very best guess is that he has not come back since November.

The opportunities we waste can be staggering, and if we’re not careful, we’ll fill our lives up with “if only” and “later.” And my old friend passed away while I wasn’t looking. What is it John Lennon said? “Life is what happens while you’re busy doing other things.” So true. Death too, no doubt.

Just Listen

I’m pretty certain that there are spirits all around us all the time, so I want to hear them speak if I can. I want to record them. Dare I repeat myself – if it’s possible to hear them speak, I want to do that! I want to know as much as I can about just how to accomplish that. I think about methods, and the why and wherefore of how this whole thing works, but I’m just more interested in hearing them – in communicating; in finding out what they have to say. I don’t want to lecture them or pontificate to them. I don’t want to fill them in on the state of race relations, or the misuse of advertising aimed at children… I’ll be quiet – I promise. Go ahead, I’m listening. And if I can hear them better by standing on my head and passing wind to God Save The Queen, then I’ll do it.

For some people, it’s very important to know how spirits are able to make themselves heard. And it was for me too once upon a time. That’s natural, because it’s all a part of believing. My subconscious used to think that if I could figure out how they do it, it would be proof that they were real. But one day I sort of woke up and realized that it didn’t matter. It became simple for me. I hear them, I’m not crazy – they’re real.

Look, I’m not a scientist – obviously. I definitely know that. Either I’m not smart enough or I’m not put together in quite the right way. But then people on this plane will probably never put forth the kind of scientific effort required to find out how the paranormal actually happens. Without that hard scientific proof, the difficult facts will never come to light. So what’s the point then? Why do this? Randy, if you’re not interested in – oh, lets say – running a million volts through a brick wall to see if it liberates centuries old residual EVP, then what the heck are you doing involved with the paranormal at all?

What’s the point? I’m involved in this because they are talking, and I don’t know about you, but I hate being ignored! I suspect it’s the same with them. I respect all my fellow EVP researchers out there who need to prove something definitive. But I’d rather spend my time listening or talking back, no matter how silly I sound. I just have to hear what it is they have to say because it’s better to learn about them, from them. And perhaps, in a display of complete and utter arrogance – I think they like me.

Sometimes they’re all ticked off and stuff, but they still speak to me. I don’t think it’s an accident. I think they know I believe in them, and I think they know I like them. I’m certainly open, and I value their thoughts. I am myself and they are themselves around me. They are safe to be whatever they are. I don’t wanna get in their business and tell them what to do. I don’t wanna send them to any light, or help them cross over. I don’t wanna preach at them or try to make them deal with what they did when they were in body. I’m not there to be their best friend, their mother, their confessor or their jailer.

I am there to listen and I almost always say thank you and goodbye. Because I appreciate it! I’m Mrs. Keller’s polite little boy. I allow them their dignity and I pay them their respect. And they let me hear them. A lot. I’m pretty sure they know that I believe they are still alive and I think they realize that in my eyes, they are equals, and every bit as important as I am. They are who they always were, and I wouldn’t change a thing about them. And I do record them frequently. And I am eternally grateful for it. More, please!

You know, in time, I believe we all eventually reach the point where we understand the value in just listening. That’s what I’m doing – that’s the point of it all and why I still do this after all this time. That’s what floats my boat. I just listen.

Other Methods

Before you check out the video below, this post is in correlation with episode #35 of The Voices Podcast, which is entitled “Other Methods.” The video below shows the actual video clips responsible for the EVP discussed in the episode.

I realize it’s not exactly breaking news that EVP can make themselves available on video cameras and other devices, but this often doesn’t receive the amount of attention it deserves. Since the speaking spirits seem to decide where and when we hear them, it’s only logical that the video camera’s built-in recorder could be even more productive than a digital voice recorder. I spend as much effort “listening” to video as I do any other device. Sometimes, watching the video can be mesmerizing and lull one to sleep – especially if it’s a static shot and nothing – literally nothing – is going on. That’s too bad, since EVP on video ought to prove that there’s always something going on.

It’s a good idea to provide spirits as many avenues for communication as we can, but the best reason for using a video camera is that it will show us exactly what’s going on at the time the spirit speaks. We can usually view an entire room, and can easily determine who is present and who isn’t. It helps us identify recurring sounds that may not be identifiable on a voice recorder, but make perfect sense when seen on video. In addition, certain types of movement are not always easily associated with natural causes until you are able to record repeating sequences.  A static video camera recording from a single position throughout an investigation, recording both picture and sound, can reveal naturally recurring things quite convincingly.

All paranormal people probably know this, but it’s a good idea to remember to use every piece of our equipment as completely as possible. We may think of our handheld cameras primarily as a video tool, but in many ways, it’s the best possible voice recorder in our arsenal. Olympus makes a fantastic recorder that also provides quality video at the same time through a small, on-board camera. The one thing missing from the standard handheld video camera could arguably be the lack of high quality sound. Olympus may have solved this issue, and so far, the reviews are rather glowing. This may be my next recorder – not so I can replace my handheld camera, but as a way to aid in the verification of EVP.  Being able to show what is happening at the time of an EVP is a great tool to have available to us. It makes our job just a little easier, increases our credibility, and provides more avenues by which to be successful.

Truth

I was there when a good friend of mine got his first EVP. He had been a meaningful contributor in the field for years, and not a single voice had ever graced his research. It’s actually a tribute to his integrity, because instead of denying the results of others, he chose to continue – ever faithful, diligent, and hopeful. And I remember the call when he heard that spirit voice for the first time – from the other end of the wire came a hearty, exuberant “I got one! I got an EVP.”

It took me a few extra seconds before the significance of this registered. EVP are something I have always been fortunate enough to capture frequently. My first session provided results, as has 95 percent of every session since. I’ve never known the kind of famine he experienced. I sometimes wonder with amazement what kept him going all those years. Video and photo evidence come rarely, and is always forced to suffer a great deal of critiquing from “the world.” It is EVP that serves as the foundation – the pillar of our evidence. It has been my experience that most investigations yield nothing substantive other than EVP. But my committed friend continued his research without a single, credible voice.

Since that glorious day, he has continued to record EVP with regularity at every investigation. Good, quality voices, whose pedigrees have been impeccable – meaningful, interactive, and teachable. But it does make you wonder what could have made the difference. It was as if the water was slowly filling up the reservoir until one day, it just started spilling over…

I have always believed that success with EVP depends on attitude – the way we approach them, the things we say, and the amount of respect we’re willing to bring to the table. Other things too – it’s complicated, I think, but my friend has always come correct. He always handled himself properly. He did everything right; behaved in ways that I believe should have helped rather than hinder. He was a great investigator when I met him, and still is the person I most trust in the field. If I were one day to face a red-eyed demon coming at me, glaring down with fiery breath showing six inch fangs, calling my name and promising to possess me dry, I would rather have him beside me than anyone else I’ve ever met. He’s the man, as far as I am concerned, and obviously, the best investigator I’ve ever known.

And for all those years, he couldn’t manage a single EVP. I don’t know what caused his drought all those years. I believe spirits make a conscious choice when they allow themselves to be exposed, and recorded. Not always – nothing is ever 100%, you know – but most of the time, I believe the spirits decide what we hear, and who will hear it.  I believe they prefer it when we are open and honest and make no pretentions. I believe they enjoy authenticity in a person and reveal themselves to those who want to hear, who will not judge them; someone who will appreciate their offering for what it is.

In all those years, my friend sought the truth. Not results. He never once manufactured evidence or manipulated the facts. He freely and openly made his way through investigation after investigation – attempting to bring a creative approach to each outing, and painstakingly analyzing every foot of video, every inch of each recording to the best of his ability. The lack of EVP was significant in itself, and he reported his results without apology or excuse. He certainly paid his dues, I think. He earned his stripes. He gave his all to every effort, and walked away secure in the truth he presented – no matter what the result.

Somehow, his integrity and reputation for unquestionable objectivity, has also paved the way for other evidence – video and still photos to accompany his new found spirit voices – each indemnified by his ability to handle the lack thereof all those early years. His trustworthiness has not escaped the spirit world – his desire for the truth has paid off in spades.

EVP are not within our control. They control their own destiny and speak their mind only when they choose. And they do not do so lightly; they speak when they know we will listen, and listen properly. If anything, we are the pawns in this game of chess. It is never really our move. We go from square to square where they lead us, and make each calculated decision based entirely on their presence – never our own. It is always their way, and we follow. They are in charge of this evidence stuff. And if upon occasion, we manage to sneak a peek when they’re not aware, all’s fair in love and paranormal.

But if you ask my friend about EVP, he knows it’s a crap shoot – that sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. But win or lose, he will always be in search of truth – never results. And he will always achieve a high level of excellence because of that.

The Normal Thing To Do

It is not normal to experience something paranormal. Or is it? Even though the word paranormal is one of those very general terms that encompass all sorts of different experiences, it is still used to refer to something extremely out of the ordinary. Not just one of those “well look at that” events – something much more unusual.

You can delve into any of the divergent areas of paranormal studies and find a plethora of documentation including personal experiences, opinion, psychological examinations, video and audio evidence – practically anything and everything. And there are hundreds of thousands of people interested enough to devote their time to study and investigation.

The paranormal is alive and well, steeped in experiences we label as being not normal – out of the ordinary, non-standard, irregular, uncharacteristic, atypical, anomalous, strange, aberrant, or down right peculiar. Stuff like that is not often worthy of being taken seriously, right?

Well, then what is normal?  Normal is something that is usual. It is even described as being healthy. It occurs naturally – is typical and customary, common and conventional, routine, and regular. Nothing paranormal in that lot, is there?

For this trip through the dictionary to be helpful you need to factor in real life. Normal might include laundry or pizza – the need to eat, penicillin, and even politics. Normal also includes a bunch of stuff that doesn’t fit the definition. Things like theft or murder. Not traditionally typical activities, crimes are considered a normal occurrence by most of us. Of course, I realize you could make a case to the opposite, but in many parts of society, theft and murder are the staples of the local civilization. Normal.

Things that are not normal include: spirits, mists, orbs, aliens, demons, chupacabre, bigfoot, moth men, and swamp creatures. And even these things become quite normal when you put them on television.

Put together a show about EVP and a certain number of people will sit there and watch it just as calmly and contently as if it were all about babies or strawberries. But! Play an EVP for someone you know. In your living room, or his. Hand someone a pair of headphones and say “listen to this,” and suddenly it’s not so normal. I can tell you honestly, I have lost friends over EVP. I didn’t notice right away – I just thought they got busy and couldn’t manage to answer their calls on a regular basis. It took awhile before I put two and two together. I should have seen it in the eyes. I should have noticed that slightly panicked look they threw at me – the one that wonders if I am in league with the devil. Who, by the way, has never been normal.

You might think that those same folks who gleefully watch television shows about man-eating half tiger, half giant-lemon people would be able to handle EVP. But apparently, when face to face with one, they cannot. You would think it would even make you kinda cool, right? But no. What they see on TV is not real to them, so the very second someone brings in the truth, people like me become lepers.

Well, leper might be a bit strong, but in varying degrees, things paranormal become things not normal really quick. Forget the fact that the paranormal has been with us since the beginning. Pay no attention to that shadow figure in the corner. Ignore the screaming voices coming from the attic. Don’t over-react to that little short man in the grey alien costume with the large shiny needle.

If all of mankind met in one place and was asked to raise their hand if they’ve ever had a paranormal experience of some kind, over 85% of the world’s population would be waving. And yet paranormal is not normal?

There’s always been paranormal stuff. In fact, every mainstream religion celebrates some kind of spiritual entity within its dogma. We huddled together in caves because we were once afraid of the dark, for God’s sake. You might as well give in to it, the spiritual world is all around you – there’s proof of it. Lots of proof, so wake up and smell the ectoplasm. There are even multiple, alternate universes. Entire universes! All those things that go bump in the night are really going bump in the night – somewhere. Some of us have seen them. Many of us have heard them, and most of us believe in them. So what’s so damned abnormal about them?

 

They’re as much a part of life as chocolate or cheap perfume. The paranormal spends time in our attics, kitchens, and bedrooms – probably watches Celebrity Ghost Story with us; chuckles when we freak out and need to leave the lights on all night. Some part of the paranormal is around in some capacity every second of every day. Sounds pretty normal to me. So, seriously… next time you see my name come up on your phone, pick it up and say hello. That would be the normal thing to do.

“Now and Then”

These days, I find myself more afraid of the surgeon’s knife than anything I might run into at Bobby Mackey’s or beneath the streets of Edinburgh. I’ve had a few close calls in the past – even died on the table once – I remember it better than what happened this morning. It was surprisingly fascinating, and as I slipped away, I understood what was happening. I knew, almost instantly that I was on my way out, and I needed to embrace it quickly.

Of course, I came back, and some months later found myself trying to deal with a very severely detached retina. Those results were less spectacular, and since then, I’ve faced an increasingly darker world come in and out of focus at will. Sometimes, lately, things have seemed so dim that I began closing my eyes completely – practicing; preparing for the worst; hoping to discover something I will be able to do on my own should the almost unthinkable actually come to pass.

But as has been the case so often, for me there is a second chance – cornea transplants. Details aside, there are risks in my case. But it’s exciting! The odds are good, even though they also include the possibility of failure. Failure will mean that I lose what little vision I have now, and my constant dusk will slowly turn to night, as I eventually lose all sight.

I don’t mention this for sympathy. Sympathy, I don’t need. And I don’t need words of encouragement or wisdom or “stiff-upper-lip” stuff. But I am afraid. It overtakes me at least once a day. Only for a few seconds, usually, but long enough to understand the enormity of the predicament I face, and long enough to tell myself that fear is a needless emotion.

I know myself pretty well, and I won’t be bitter or feel cheated. I’ll understand how these things go, and I’ll be able to face the results no matter what they are. I will be thankful too, because I know it won’t matter in the scheme of things, and will lead me to get on with the goodness of living and not dwell on the bad.  I will be strong, so I will prevail.

The paranormal has been responsible for this thinking in many ways. It has given me a perspective on life that I never would have realized on my own. I’m so totally certain that there is a rich afterlife, that upon occasion, I actually begin to glimpse the meaning of this life. Or so I think. But it certainly doesn’t include self-absorption and pity. I’ve heard from so many distant voices that my mind has been opened; my heart as well. My faith has grown stronger, and while I don’t believe it’s my place to preach on such matters, I am compelled to say that God has been good, and I am grateful for the lessons provided through this paranormal.

I believe there are examples in life that speak to the next life – ways we can determine what is in store for us, if we only take the time to look. There are no real mysteries, just undiscovered treasures – bounty for the taking, buried in the beauty that surrounds us in this glorious place. Truths we can only find within our souls. There is nothing hidden, but I think it demands a certain kind of diligence on our part. We’re meant to seek and search as far as our lives will allow us, and with whatever resources we’re given. There’s nothing new under the sun, but the whole of existence is worthy of rediscovery – daily, and we should experience it through the prism of our own vision and thoughts.

I am often reminded of an EVP I once recorded. When asked if he came to visit often, the voice responded “now and then.” On the surface, it is a logical answer to an honest question, but I have come to see it slightly differently. Even though I do not seek wisdom from my invisible friends, they occasionally give me pause. Perhaps because of the nature of their existence, I tend to listen more carefully.

Life in general is a now and then proposition – nothing is always, or never. We love now and then, cry now and then, feel powerful now and then, and now and then, we face our mortality. It’s natural to be fearful of things like the surgeon’s knife; of that nasty anesthesia. Or of anything that threatens us – especially if it threatens us with the unknown.

But the afterlife is different – more mysterious than unknown; unfamiliar, perhaps. It seems to beckon us in a strange and indefinable way. The paranormal doesn’t threaten us with the slip of a knife or the inability to awake from anesthesia. It doesn’t cause infection or give us life-altering diseases. The paranormal doesn’t decimate the population with war or genocide; beat our children, or cause our crops to fail. Instead, it previews the hereafter, introduces us to our inevitability and promises forever. And if we can avoid that “run dude run” moment and stop to learn from the experience instead, it has the potential to enrich us in ways not available elsewhere.

The worst that can happen to me is that I will not awaken here, but somewhere else instead. But I’m okay with that, because I know my fear is not of where, but only of when. I may not be ready just now, but who is? Those of us who have chosen to look into the unfamiliar should not waste the opportunity. We’re afforded the experience so we can learn from it. These glimpses do not come from our ambition or intelligence, or any machinations we create – all of it has always just been there to find. What we call the paranormal is a classroom – an advanced course in the complex curriculum of living. A pass/fail course we’re not required to take, but one that gives us an edge. So, be grateful brethren – the truth is right before you, and you will find it – “now and then.”

Archaeologists

My most recent podcast centers around the Spirit Box, and after listening to it several times, I have decided that it sounds a bit negative. That wasn’t my intention, although I don’t wish to retract anything either. I truly do believe it is a viable piece of apparatus that many investigators seem to put to fantastic use. Unfortunately, I have been unable to do so, and while there have been specific circumstances where the device seemed like the perfect tool, it has failed miserably in my hands.

I know it’s more fun to enter an investigation with as many cool devices as possible. I suspect that if a proton pack were real, I’d want one – preferably in Ghost Busters Green. But lately, I have been more impressed with the accuracy of human observation accompanied by the barest minimum of actual equipment. We believe in the recording integrity of still and motion cameras, video, and with any number of audio recording devices. So it stands to reason that this equipment should serve us well. But they are only recording devices – documentarians of our trips in the dark in search of the elusive afterlife. These devices don’t claim to create or initiate contact, they don’t increase visibility, or augment the environment to make it more conducive to spirit manifestations of any kind.

The paranormal world is littered with all sorts of paraphernalia, most of which claim to improve conditions or add to our evidence gathering capability. But there are lingering doubts about so many of these. Perhaps it’s a matter of how they are used, as is the case with the Spirit Box, but it is inescapable that the results from such equipment is frequently questioned, and so often unconvincingly defended.

Still, what can we expect to happen simply by carrying recording equipment? It can document, surely, but does it improve our odds, or increase the opportunities to actually find something to record? Usually not, and we wind up looking at the same old type of footage and listening to the same old hiss on recorder files. And ultimately, all we’ve done is enter a building, wander around, and press some buttons. We can only hope the spirit world will decide to initiate contact and allow us to record it, as success seems completely dependent on them.

If people like me are correct, and spirits are everywhere, constantly, then improving our recording equipment becomes our best chance at documenting paranormal life. We should eventually develop recording devices ever more able to reveal the other side – with greater clarity and frequency. But if spirits are elusive, we will need more. We will need reliable, less hit and miss devices which encourage or cause them to be seen and heard. Regardless, doing that will always carry with it the stigma of human misrepresentation. The rap will always be that the evidence produced by such devices is suspect and therefore, unacceptable by current paranormal standards.

Since the standards, for unquestionable paranormal proof, are extremely high (ever see a piece of video that wasn’t questioned?), we may ultimately be stuck with no better tools than we currently have. We’ll record and capture things on devices whose integrity has passed both the paranormal litmus test, and the test of time.

Better recorders with lower frequency capabilities, and a wider use of thermal and full-spectrum imaging may be the only way we can reasonably go. As they are improved over time, we can expect to see and hear more, thereby learning more with each iteration. And if similar devices are created and can pass the scrutiny of skeptics, our results and credibility can only improve.

But there comes the eternal question… Should we actually be invading their realm? It is a question we don’t hear these days because the paranormal has become, in so many ways, a commercial entity. Is it not enough to record their presence as it presents itself? Must we draw them out against their will, or create an environment that demands their attendance, thereby removing whatever final defenses they have from us?

More and more these days, I think not. More and more, I believe we are like archaeologists, who learn from what they find; who look as deeply as they can – carefully. Methodically. We take our own trip through time in search of truth. Better we respect the artifacts and gently brush away the debris in search of a piece to the puzzle – like fragments of bone in search of the complete animal – ever vigilant, patient, and cautious.

We need to be content with what we know when we know it – regardless of how badly we want it to be now.

Plausible Deniability

I just discovered some early podcasts I created from 2007 – almost exactly five years ago. The podcast was called mpgEVP, which stood for Maryland Paranormal Group, and you can figure out what the EVP part is all about. Of course, I had to give a listen, if for no other reason than to hear how different I sounded. They were very funny, because it was plain to recognize the tone of someone trying to sound like someone else. I must have decided to go with a deeper voice – one without my Baltimore accent. What a poser!

But even more than the obvious surface differences, I found myself saying things I no longer believe to be true. I fully admitted that EVP voices were almost impossible to assign to any particular deceased person, but then time after time, that’s exactly what I did. “This must have been my aunt,” I said as a lead-in to a credible EVP sample. I listened in great horror, because there was nothing about that spirit voice to suggest my dear sweet auntie was speaking. It could just as easily have been Mussolini.

The comedy of errors continued to be even more embarrassing the longer I listened. I heard myself referring to hundreds of recorded EVP, when the number is clearly in the thousands just five years later. I was willing to assume so much from those hundreds – assumptions I think the thousands have proven to be incorrect. As I listened, I realized that there are only so many mistakes I am happy to own up to, because there were so many that made me cringe.

Well, they weren’t really that bad, I suppose – I’ve heard worse from people who have a paranormal television career, but they do not reflect attitudes or beliefs I still embrace. I try to base everything on evidence of some kind, and I try not to make stupid assumptions just because they are convenient or add to the narrative in a more interesting way. And obviously, that could not have been my M.O. at the time I recorded those podcasts. That was perhaps the most distressing part of all.

Thankfully, the truth is that we all grow. We all learn a little more with each step down the road, and we all find ourselves pushing back against the crazy ideas we used to welcome so stridently. I am a different person now, I suppose. I have a lot of investigations under my belt, and I am a full-time EVP researcher now. Since those early MPG broadcasts, I have written two books, given lectures, done a number of radio interviews, and created almost 35 new podcasts under the auspices of The Voices Podcast. And I am proud of this later podcast, as I am of all my endeavors dealing with both EVP research and the paranormal in general.

But it makes me think a bit. I expect there will be things I’ve said or written currently that will one day make me want to hide my head in the sand again. Fortunately, that will not prevent me from saying them though. The paranormal field is in constant flux as new ideas surface and either stand the test of time or give way to better incarnations. We’re constantly learning and discovering ways in which newer methods and more efficient technologies reveal different results yielding more current and better-informed conclusions.

I hope it always goes this way, because if we stay stagnant for long, we’ll stop learning new things – we’ll stop discovering. I’m not really embarrassed by those ancient podcasts of mine – they remind me that I’ve grown, and that’s always a good thing. I will just have to be content knowing that at least I was out there looking and searching – putting myself in a position to grow. It makes me wonder what will be next. I can only hope the future will not cause me to refute too much of what I find myself saying now – in such a public way.

Of course, I’m also very pleased that those podcasts from mpgEVP are no longer available. I just hope everyone who downloaded them has long since thrown them away so that I have the only remaining copies. Plausible deniability is a beautiful thing.